


I Thought You Might Be Here (but you disappear)

by Arach



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Established Relationship, Human Bill Cipher, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Weirdmageddon, Statue Bill Cipher, Triangle Bill Cipher, Two Endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:38:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6318592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arach/pseuds/Arach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been a year since Weirdmageddon happened and Bill was vanquished.<br/>Dipper just can’t get over it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [One Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPcDfLrzx3Y) by Marianas Trench (which is where the title comes from).  
> Specifically, [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_pOPsPx_eI) by TheEclipseOfBreak and all the fanart of Dipper going back and seeing Bill’s statue.
> 
> And yes, there are two endings to this story! No, they're not necessarily happy and you may want to yell at me, but y'know I suffered while writing this and now y'all can enjoy the pain heh
> 
> Anyways! As always, happy reading!

_It’s warmer than the night before despite the window having been propped open earlier to let in the summer night breeze. There’s silence, but not the unbearable kind, and pitch black darkness, but not the fear eliciting kind. And for once, he’s fast asleep; insomnia, his tormentor of so many years, beaten by the comforting weight of another body weighing down the bed._

_Lithe arms he’d become accustomed to in the last month hold him tightly as if a loose grip was all it took for him to fall out of reach and fanned out hair brush against the back of his neck every time the other curled up closer (accompanied with soft, inaudible mumbling - something he loved hearing on nights where overthinking kept him up)._

_He turns, careful not to accidentally jostle his bed partner, as he does whenever the dam breaks and the waterfall of unwanted thoughts shower his brain. His eyelids, still heavy with sleep, slowly open. They’re quick to adjust to the dark that encompasses his room. He can see the silhouetted shape of his lover and while it’s shadows, he can imagine the light blonde hair and slightly tanned skinned splattered with the faintest freckles._

_The corners of his mouth twitch up in a small smile and he lifts up his arm to run his hand through that golden hair… only to have it touch nothing. Panic begins to creep up his spine. His hand moves again through empty air and then down. Cotton pillow covers meets his skin instead of soft waves._

_His heart’s pounding against his ribcage, a cold sweat chilling him to the bone. There’s distress filling every part of his body and he doesn’t know what to do because every time he opens his mouth to call his partner’s name, nothing comes out. Voice stripped away for some unknown reason and an invisible force preventing him from sitting up, the world feels as if it’s going through an earthquake. He struggles and struggles and-_

”Dipper!”

He wakes with a start. First, confusion trickles through his mind and then realization when he sees the worried look on Mabel’s face. It happened again. For the sixth time that month. And she’d used brute force to wake him up. Again. _(It was starting to get harder and harder. Was he succumbing to something dangerous?)_

Mabel helps him sit up on the bed and when he’s fully supported by the headboard, she takes a seat in front of him, brows still furrowed in concern. Of course she was worried. He was probably screaming.

“Another Bill dream, huh?” All he can do is nod in response, his throat dry and parched. She makes a face and reaches over to grab his hand, “I get them too sometimes. And it’s always of that time he caught us after we led him away from Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford,” she falls silent for a split second before gently squeezing his hand, “Do you wanna talk about it? It usually helps.”

How is he supposed to tell her that he’d been dating Bill before the demon wreaked havoc with Weirdmageddon?

He didn’t tell her. That’s how.

Shaking his head, something clenched his heart as he caught Mabel deflate for a brief moment before she was back to her cheery, supportive self.

“Okey-dokey, well, don’t forget I’m just across the hall if you need anything,” she says, letting go and getting up. Mabel walks over to the door. She doesn’t leave right when she opens the door. Instead she turns on her heel to face Dipper and says, “I think the dreams might be because of tomorrow. But bro, don’t forget. Bill’s _**gone**_. We defeated him. He won’t be bothering us anymore.”

She’s just trying to comfort him because he’s kept her in the dark about the true nature of his relationship with the demon that nearly killed all of them and he can’t fault her for doing her best, but the reminder stabs him in the heart. Pain blooms across his chest and he manages to choke out a small _thank you_ , to show his appreciation for her (dealing with his issues while going through her own? Mabel had always been the strongest out of the two of them).

With a smile and a _good night_ , she slips out of his room.

He waits until he hears her door closing to curl up into a ball and muffle his sobs into his blanket.

Bill was gone. For good.

Despite the torture the demon had put all of Gravity Falls through with the whole Weirdmageddon invasion, he’d still tried to keep Dipper and the people Dipper cared about safe. Even if they were unconventional and often misinterpreted by everyone _but_ Dipper. 

Because Dipper **knew** Bill. He understood why the other did things the way he did them.

And now he was somewhere else beyond their comprehension.

Dipper and Mabel were going back to Gravity Falls for the summer.   
They were going to watch fireworks, sit on the rooftop of the Mystery Shack, drink Pitt Cola with Wendy and Soos and everyone else.  
They were going to have a normal summer in a not so normal town.

He was going to enjoy his days.  
And spend his nights trying to get over Bill.

Because Bill wasn’t there anymore to take him out on adventures or treat him like some sort of galactic prince _(it was his birthmark. bill loved looking, touching, and kissing it at every chance he could snatch)_.

He was going to be alone in a too cold bed on a hot summer night.  
And that was okay. He was going to be fine.

Time healed all wounds, right?

He was going to be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

The first day back in Gravity Falls is as fun as he expected it to be. Ford and Stan are still away, sailing the seas, so Soos and Melody show off how well they’d been taking care of the Shack. Mabel immediately takes a picture with the Stan statue to put in her scrapbook.

Wendy and the gang pull them into all kinds of crazy games that last until after sunset. It’s a day full of laughter and joy and he’s glad he doesn’t have to fake any of it because he truly _is_ happy to be back in Gravity Falls. There were tons of good memories attached to the town after all.

He doesn’t let the **other** memories (now tainted with burnt edges) wash over him until he’s wandering around the forest, both flashlight and moonlight guiding him so that he doesn’t trip over anything.

Then again, there’s nothing but shrubs and trees and the occasional gnome scampering as soon as he got too close to where they were. As he continues to wander aimlessly, humming a forgotten tune under his breath, his surroundings becoming achingly familiar. He should head back to the Shack before he stumbles onto a spot filled to the brim with those precious bittersweet images of a certain dream demon _(in both human and triangle form; always switching when one was too physically limiting)_.

But he can’t. His feet are frozen, stuck to the ground, unable to move forward or backward. There’s a fire, small and barely alive, burning in the back of his mind somewhere. It’s a flame of desire to go back to that place, that time, just one last time.

It’s terrible idea. He blames Bill for passing on that characteristic of following any bad ideas as he takes a step. Another step and another and he’s staring straight ahead, knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping the flashlight, until he’s made it passed overgrown bushes.

A sharp gasp leaves his lips; the flashlight soundlessly hits the grass and casts a spotlight on the stone Bill statue sticking up from the ground.

What was this? Everything reminiscent of Bill Cipher was discarded, _trashed_ , so **what was** _this_?

He doesn’t know how to react nor how to deal with the myriad of emotions crashing into him. 

Did someone make this as a sick joke? Or was this… was this _Bill_?

He drops onto his knees so that he’s eye level with the statue (when had he walked up to it?) and lifts up his hand, albeit extremely shakily, to touch it.

The stone feels just like that. Stone. There’s none of that warmth he’d gotten used to being wrapped up in. It’s a rocky surface and completely different from Bill’s smoothness.

It’s all wrong, wrong, _wrong_ … and yet, Dipper spends the next hour or two rambling to this Bill statue. As if it were Bill himself and they were catching up after not seeing each other in a year.

He talks until his lips are chapped, he talks until his throat is dry, he talks until there are tears welling up in the corners of his eyes because he knows this is insane. _**He’s**_ insane, treating a slab of rock like the real thing.

When he’s all done and silence permeates the forest once more, he slowly gets up, legs protesting due to the prolonged position he was in. He doesn’t leave just yet. Dipper stands in front of “Bill” and stares down at it, his hand now holding onto its outstretched one.

“I know you’re not real and that you’re not him. But Bill… if you’re somehow listening in from wherever you are… I can’t forgive you for you know what. Not yet. But I do miss you and I did…” he pauses for a moment to take a deep breath, “I do love you. I hope you’re doing okay. If you’re even still alive or conscious.”

A tear streams down his cheek and he doesn’t hesitate to press a kiss onto a spot, free of any plant life, right next to the statue’s eye.

He swears he feels warmth, the kind that signaled life, beneath his lips.  
He quickly crushes the small kindle of hope by dismissing it as the weather.

Pulling away completely, he walks backwards, not wanting to tear his gaze away from “Bill”, until he’s standing next to the flashlight. Picking that up, he continues to stare at the statue.

“See ya.” With that, Dipper finally turns his back to it and hurriedly makes his way back to the Shack. It’s as if a heavy weight is lifted off his shoulders and when he climbs into bed, he has no trouble sleeping through the rest of the night.

Back in the forest, everything seems to come to a standstill.  
There’s a small crack in the Bill statue.

It begins to grow, bits of rock falling as the crack snakes up the statue.  
There’s a faint gold glow seeping through.  
Soft, nearly inaudible piano chords filter throughout the forest;  
the fairies sing quietly.

 _We’ll meet again,_  
_Don’t know where, don’t know when,_  
_But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day._


End file.
